Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Cricket in Heaven
Sachin Tendulkar and Sourav Ganguly, now pretty old guys, 75 and 76 years old, are sitting on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about cricket,like they do every day.
Sachin turns to Sourav and says, "Do you think there's cricket in heaven?"
Ganguly thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal: if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's cricket in heaven, and if you die first, you do the same." They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Sachin passes on.
One day soon afterward, Ganguly is sitting there feeding the pigeons by himself when he hears a voice whisper, "Sourav...Sourav!"
Ganguly responds, "Sachin! Is that you?"
"Yes it is, Sourav," whispers Sachin's ghost.
Ganguly, still amazed, asks, "So, is there cricket in heaven?" "Well," says Sachin, "I've got good news and bad news." "Gimme the good news first," says Ganguly.
Sachin says, "Well... there is cricket in heaven."
Ganguly says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that?"
Sachin sighs and whispers, "You and me, we are going to open the innings on Friday."
Sachin turns to Sourav and says, "Do you think there's cricket in heaven?"
Ganguly thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal: if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's cricket in heaven, and if you die first, you do the same." They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Sachin passes on.
One day soon afterward, Ganguly is sitting there feeding the pigeons by himself when he hears a voice whisper, "Sourav...Sourav!"
Ganguly responds, "Sachin! Is that you?"
"Yes it is, Sourav," whispers Sachin's ghost.
Ganguly, still amazed, asks, "So, is there cricket in heaven?" "Well," says Sachin, "I've got good news and bad news." "Gimme the good news first," says Ganguly.
Sachin says, "Well... there is cricket in heaven."
Ganguly says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that?"
Sachin sighs and whispers, "You and me, we are going to open the innings on Friday."
Saturday, January 26, 2008
EMail ID`s – Indian Cricket Team
1. LAXMAN: available@home-only.com
2. GANGULY: nowdays@no_use.com
3. KUMBLE: only@test_match.com
4. SACHIN: admitted@hospital.com
5. KAIF: good@for_nothing.com
6. SEHWAG: consistently@out_of_form.com
7. DRAVID: stick@crease_like_fevicol.com
8. PATHAN: takewickets@only_with_kenya.com
9. GREG CHAPPELL: only_experiment@noresult.com
10.Munaf Patel: onlyline&length@nospeed.com
11.Harbhajan Singh: no_spinpitch@nowicket.com
12.Suresh Raina: why_i_am_there@god_knows.com
2. GANGULY: nowdays@no_use.com
3. KUMBLE: only@test_match.com
4. SACHIN: admitted@hospital.com
5. KAIF: good@for_nothing.com
6. SEHWAG: consistently@out_of_form.com
7. DRAVID: stick@crease_like_fevicol.com
8. PATHAN: takewickets@only_with_kenya.com
9. GREG CHAPPELL: only_experiment@noresult.com
10.Munaf Patel: onlyline&length@nospeed.com
11.Harbhajan Singh: no_spinpitch@nowicket.com
12.Suresh Raina: why_i_am_there@god_knows.com
Year 2019 - Cricket World Cup news
India failed to defeat Afghanistan in the world cup qualifier in the Asia -Pacific zone
Coach sehwag said that he is not worried bcoz he has backing of selectors, captain and board....and that they had won a close match against Papua new guinea just 2 yrs ago
Rahul Dravid,the coach of new zealand team said that Sachin should now consider retiring gracefully and let his son take over the captaincy
mahender singh dhoni broke ajit agarkars record of most no of conecutive ducks in twenty 20
saurav ganguly, the coach of england feels that the boys need to control their emotions on the field
the current leading man from bollywood bret lee advices ms dhoni to take upacting as well
Minnows Pakistan beat Ireland in a close match...and thus they avanged their defeat in the 2007 WC against the then minnows ireland
Inzamam ul haq, who was the captain of the losing team and now the present coach said in a press interview that
"Boys plays well...they try hard...inshallah we wins the world cup"
The police arrested 8 ppl for voilence after England and NZ match...
Investigations revealed that these ppl were members of Dravid and Ganguly fan communities on Orkut which have 623241516 and 126542 members respectively.
the Indian cricket board led by president Rahul Gandhi has called for an emergency meeting to discuss future course of action ..former players like yuvraj singh, md kaif,vvs laxman and kumble have been invited...coach sehwag and captain Tendulkar will present a report...
vvs laxman today created a new controversy by saying that he expected a written apology from Rahul gandhi for including him in the category of former players....he said that he has improved his fielding and fitness and wants to play 2023 WC in Brazil
Coach sehwag said that he is not worried bcoz he has backing of selectors, captain and board....and that they had won a close match against Papua new guinea just 2 yrs ago
Rahul Dravid,the coach of new zealand team said that Sachin should now consider retiring gracefully and let his son take over the captaincy
mahender singh dhoni broke ajit agarkars record of most no of conecutive ducks in twenty 20
saurav ganguly, the coach of england feels that the boys need to control their emotions on the field
the current leading man from bollywood bret lee advices ms dhoni to take upacting as well
Minnows Pakistan beat Ireland in a close match...and thus they avanged their defeat in the 2007 WC against the then minnows ireland
Inzamam ul haq, who was the captain of the losing team and now the present coach said in a press interview that
"Boys plays well...they try hard...inshallah we wins the world cup"
The police arrested 8 ppl for voilence after England and NZ match...
Investigations revealed that these ppl were members of Dravid and Ganguly fan communities on Orkut which have 623241516 and 126542 members respectively.
the Indian cricket board led by president Rahul Gandhi has called for an emergency meeting to discuss future course of action ..former players like yuvraj singh, md kaif,vvs laxman and kumble have been invited...coach sehwag and captain Tendulkar will present a report...
vvs laxman today created a new controversy by saying that he expected a written apology from Rahul gandhi for including him in the category of former players....he said that he has improved his fielding and fitness and wants to play 2023 WC in Brazil
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Sehwag's Son
SEHWAG's SON: Mummy mummy!! dekho papa six pe six mar rahe hain
SEHWAG's WIFE: beta theek se dekho, advertisement hoga
SEHWAG's WIFE: beta theek se dekho, advertisement hoga
T 20 World Cup Final
T20 World Cup Final Post match presentation interview between Shastri and winning captain Dhoni
In the post-match presentation, Ravi Shastri to Dhoni "Congratulations to you and the whole Indian team for winning this world cup. You guys have produced a great nail biting show.. and deserves the cup. We welcome you to share the joy with us."
Dhoni "Thanks Ravi, the match was a pretty close encounter between two great teams and our guys held their nerve to win the game and cup."
Shastri, "Who was the main reason for this thrilling victory?"
Dhoni, "All of us played well but I would say the main reason and man behind this great victory is Ajit Agarkar"
Shocked Shastri..., "Agarkar ? ? .. how come Agarkar... he didn't play in the final"..
Dhoni, "Yeah.. that's the reason we won this low scoring match.. if he could have bowled in the final, Pakistan would have scored the winning runs from his 4 overs...."
Shastri, "ok.. fine, whom would you want to thank for winning this final..."
Dhoni, "The team doctor deserves the credit... he really helped us to prepare for the final..."
Shastri, "Is it? ?.... how did the doctor help to prepare for the final... he is not the coach or physical trainer...Dhoni.. I am getting confused"
Dhoni, "Ravi... nothing to get confused... he has failed Sehwag in the fitness test according to our game plan and we managed to pick a good playing team.. thus we weigh the doctor's contribution as very high... infact its better than our team effort in the field.. our game tactic worked well"
Shastri, "To whom do you want to dedicate this World Cup?"
Dhoni, "The entire team including myself wants to dedicate this cup to Sachin, Dravid and Ganguly..."
Shastri, "I really really appreciate you... its good that you have so much respect for the seniors....and you ...."
Dhoni interrupts.... "Ravi.. let me complete... India would have exited in the Group matches if they decided to play in the series... thank god they opted out and we managed to play cricket and won the cup"
Shastri, "The match was a thrilling encounter and was concluded by a single mistake of Misbah.. Isn't it? "
Dhoni, "Yes you are right, after lofting the ball Misbah told me that he has send the ball to where there was no one....but he didn't know that there is a malayali in every corner of the world.... This single mistake cost them the game and we won the cup"
Shastri faints and Dhoni receives the CUP and thats the end of the great Twenty-20 world cup...
In the post-match presentation, Ravi Shastri to Dhoni "Congratulations to you and the whole Indian team for winning this world cup. You guys have produced a great nail biting show.. and deserves the cup. We welcome you to share the joy with us."
Dhoni "Thanks Ravi, the match was a pretty close encounter between two great teams and our guys held their nerve to win the game and cup."
Shastri, "Who was the main reason for this thrilling victory?"
Dhoni, "All of us played well but I would say the main reason and man behind this great victory is Ajit Agarkar"
Shocked Shastri..., "Agarkar ? ? .. how come Agarkar... he didn't play in the final"..
Dhoni, "Yeah.. that's the reason we won this low scoring match.. if he could have bowled in the final, Pakistan would have scored the winning runs from his 4 overs...."
Shastri, "ok.. fine, whom would you want to thank for winning this final..."
Dhoni, "The team doctor deserves the credit... he really helped us to prepare for the final..."
Shastri, "Is it? ?.... how did the doctor help to prepare for the final... he is not the coach or physical trainer...Dhoni.. I am getting confused"
Dhoni, "Ravi... nothing to get confused... he has failed Sehwag in the fitness test according to our game plan and we managed to pick a good playing team.. thus we weigh the doctor's contribution as very high... infact its better than our team effort in the field.. our game tactic worked well"
Shastri, "To whom do you want to dedicate this World Cup?"
Dhoni, "The entire team including myself wants to dedicate this cup to Sachin, Dravid and Ganguly..."
Shastri, "I really really appreciate you... its good that you have so much respect for the seniors....and you ...."
Dhoni interrupts.... "Ravi.. let me complete... India would have exited in the Group matches if they decided to play in the series... thank god they opted out and we managed to play cricket and won the cup"
Shastri, "The match was a thrilling encounter and was concluded by a single mistake of Misbah.. Isn't it? "
Dhoni, "Yes you are right, after lofting the ball Misbah told me that he has send the ball to where there was no one....but he didn't know that there is a malayali in every corner of the world.... This single mistake cost them the game and we won the cup"
Shastri faints and Dhoni receives the CUP and thats the end of the great Twenty-20 world cup...
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Sidhu's Cricket Quotes
1. That ball went so high it could have got an air hostess down with it.
2. There is light at the end of the tunnel for India, but it’s that of an incoming train which will run them over.
3. Experience is like a comb that life gives you when you are bald.
4. This quote was made after Ganguly called Dravid for a run and midway sent him back and Dravid was run out in the third test against the West Indies at Barbados. “Ganguly has thrown a drowning man both ends of the rope.”
5. Sri Lankan score is running like an Indian taxi meter.
6. Statistics are like miniskirts, they reveal more than what they hide.
7. Wickets are like wives - you never know which way they will turn!
8. He is like Indian three-wheeler which will suck a lot of diesel but cannot go beyond 30!
9. The Indians are going to beat the Kiwis! Let me tell you, my friend, that the Kiwi is the only bird in the whole world which does not have wings!
10. As uncomfortable as a bum on a porcupine.
11. The ball whizzes past like a bumble bee and the Indians are in the sea.
12. The Indians are finding the gaps like a pin in a haystack.
13. The pitch is as dead as a dodo.
14. Deep Dasgupta is as confused as a child is in a topless bar!
15. The way Indian wickets are falling reminds of the cycle stand at Rajendra Talkies in Patiala.. one falls and everything else falls!
16. Indian team without Sachin is like giving a Kiss without a Squeeze. 17. You cannot make Omelets without breaking the eggs.
18. Deep Dasgupta is not a Wicket Keeper, he is a goal keeper. He must be given a free transfer to Manchester United.
19. He will fight a rattlesnake and give it the first two bites too.
20. One, who doesn’t throw the dice, can never expect to score a six.
21. This quote was made after Eddie Nichols, the third umpire, ruled Shivnarine Chanderpaul ‘NOT OUT’ in the second test at Port of Spain, T&T. “Eddie Nichols is a man who cannot find his own buttocks with his two hands.”
22. Anybody can pilot a ship when the sea is calm.
23. Nobody travels on the road to success without a puncture or two.
24. You got to choose between tightening your belt or losing your pants.
25. The cat with gloves catches no mice.
26. Age has been perfect fire extinguisher for flaming youth.
27. You may have a heart of gold, but so does a hard-boiled egg.
28. He is like a one-legged man in a bum kicking competition.
29. The third umpires should be changed as often as nappies and for the same reason.
30. Statistics are like bikinis… what they reveal is suggestive, what they hide is essential!
31. It is very difficult to kill a man who is hell bent on committing suicide!
32. He is as innocent as a freshly laid egg!
33. When you are dining with the demons, you’ve got to have a long spoon!
34. All that comes from a cow is not milk!
35. Just because a rose smells sweet, you do not use it in the soup!
36. The gap between bat and pad is so wide you could have driven a car through.
37. He is a wily fox. But, if we make the fox run, the chicken will become hen.
38. You cannot ride a seat-less bicycle without getting blisters on your bums.
2. There is light at the end of the tunnel for India, but it’s that of an incoming train which will run them over.
3. Experience is like a comb that life gives you when you are bald.
4. This quote was made after Ganguly called Dravid for a run and midway sent him back and Dravid was run out in the third test against the West Indies at Barbados. “Ganguly has thrown a drowning man both ends of the rope.”
5. Sri Lankan score is running like an Indian taxi meter.
6. Statistics are like miniskirts, they reveal more than what they hide.
7. Wickets are like wives - you never know which way they will turn!
8. He is like Indian three-wheeler which will suck a lot of diesel but cannot go beyond 30!
9. The Indians are going to beat the Kiwis! Let me tell you, my friend, that the Kiwi is the only bird in the whole world which does not have wings!
10. As uncomfortable as a bum on a porcupine.
11. The ball whizzes past like a bumble bee and the Indians are in the sea.
12. The Indians are finding the gaps like a pin in a haystack.
13. The pitch is as dead as a dodo.
14. Deep Dasgupta is as confused as a child is in a topless bar!
15. The way Indian wickets are falling reminds of the cycle stand at Rajendra Talkies in Patiala.. one falls and everything else falls!
16. Indian team without Sachin is like giving a Kiss without a Squeeze. 17. You cannot make Omelets without breaking the eggs.
18. Deep Dasgupta is not a Wicket Keeper, he is a goal keeper. He must be given a free transfer to Manchester United.
19. He will fight a rattlesnake and give it the first two bites too.
20. One, who doesn’t throw the dice, can never expect to score a six.
21. This quote was made after Eddie Nichols, the third umpire, ruled Shivnarine Chanderpaul ‘NOT OUT’ in the second test at Port of Spain, T&T. “Eddie Nichols is a man who cannot find his own buttocks with his two hands.”
22. Anybody can pilot a ship when the sea is calm.
23. Nobody travels on the road to success without a puncture or two.
24. You got to choose between tightening your belt or losing your pants.
25. The cat with gloves catches no mice.
26. Age has been perfect fire extinguisher for flaming youth.
27. You may have a heart of gold, but so does a hard-boiled egg.
28. He is like a one-legged man in a bum kicking competition.
29. The third umpires should be changed as often as nappies and for the same reason.
30. Statistics are like bikinis… what they reveal is suggestive, what they hide is essential!
31. It is very difficult to kill a man who is hell bent on committing suicide!
32. He is as innocent as a freshly laid egg!
33. When you are dining with the demons, you’ve got to have a long spoon!
34. All that comes from a cow is not milk!
35. Just because a rose smells sweet, you do not use it in the soup!
36. The gap between bat and pad is so wide you could have driven a car through.
37. He is a wily fox. But, if we make the fox run, the chicken will become hen.
38. You cannot ride a seat-less bicycle without getting blisters on your bums.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Friday, January 11, 2008
Thursday, January 10, 2008
New Words added in Dictionary
Hi, I hope you liked my previous post,which was originally a Mail Forward,sent by one of my Friend. Here an another great one -
New Words added in Dictionary:
Bucknor: (n) (adj)
1. Temporary blindness leading to missing out on the obvious.
2. To be at the wrong place at the wrong time.
3. Situations leading to grave judgmental errors.
Usage: I feel bucknored by my boss; Life often throws a bucknor at you.
Benson: (n) (adj)
1. Something that legitimises a severe bucknor.
Usage: First they bucknored me and then they bensoned it! I am toast.
Also see Bucknor
New Words added in Dictionary:
Bucknor: (n) (adj)
1. Temporary blindness leading to missing out on the obvious.
2. To be at the wrong place at the wrong time.
3. Situations leading to grave judgmental errors.
Usage: I feel bucknored by my boss; Life often throws a bucknor at you.
Benson: (n) (adj)
1. Something that legitimises a severe bucknor.
Usage: First they bucknored me and then they bensoned it! I am toast.
Also see Bucknor
Rules for playing Cricket in Australia
Here are some Rules for playing Cricket in Australia (or with Australia)
(1) Ricky Ponting - (THE TRULY GENUINE CRICKETER OF THE CRICKET ERA AND WHOSE INTEGRITY SHOULD NOT BE DOUBTED) should be considered as the FOURTH UMPIRE. As per the new rules, FOURTH UMPIRE decision is final and will over ride any decisions taken by any other umpires. ON-FIELD umpires can seek the assistance of RICKY PONTING even if he is not on the field. This rule is to be made, so that every team should understand the importance of the FOURTH UMPIRE.
(2) While AUSTRALIAN TEAM is bowling, If the ball flies anywhere close to the AUSTRALIAN FIELDER(WITHIN 5 meter distance), the batsman is to be considered OUT irrelevant of whether the catch was taken cleanly or grassed. Any decision for further clarification should be seeked from the FOURTH UMPIRE. This is made to ensure that the cricket is played with SPORTIVE SPIRIT by all the teams.
(3) While BATTING, AUSTRALIAN players will wait for the ON-FIELD UMPIRE decisions only (even if the catch goes to the FIFTH SLIP as the ball might not have touched the bat). Each AUSTRALIAN batsman has to be out FOUR TIMES (minimum) before he can return to the pavilion. In case of THE CRICKETER WITH INTEGRITY, this can be higher.
(4) UMPIRES should consider a huge bonus if an AUSTRALIAN player scores a century. Any wrong decisions can be ignored as they will be paid huge bonus and will receive the backing of the AUSTRALIAN team and board.
(1) Ricky Ponting - (THE TRULY GENUINE CRICKETER OF THE CRICKET ERA AND WHOSE INTEGRITY SHOULD NOT BE DOUBTED) should be considered as the FOURTH UMPIRE. As per the new rules, FOURTH UMPIRE decision is final and will over ride any decisions taken by any other umpires. ON-FIELD umpires can seek the assistance of RICKY PONTING even if he is not on the field. This rule is to be made, so that every team should understand the importance of the FOURTH UMPIRE.
(2) While AUSTRALIAN TEAM is bowling, If the ball flies anywhere close to the AUSTRALIAN FIELDER(WITHIN 5 meter distance), the batsman is to be considered OUT irrelevant of whether the catch was taken cleanly or grassed. Any decision for further clarification should be seeked from the FOURTH UMPIRE. This is made to ensure that the cricket is played with SPORTIVE SPIRIT by all the teams.
(3) While BATTING, AUSTRALIAN players will wait for the ON-FIELD UMPIRE decisions only (even if the catch goes to the FIFTH SLIP as the ball might not have touched the bat). Each AUSTRALIAN batsman has to be out FOUR TIMES (minimum) before he can return to the pavilion. In case of THE CRICKETER WITH INTEGRITY, this can be higher.
(4) UMPIRES should consider a huge bonus if an AUSTRALIAN player scores a century. Any wrong decisions can be ignored as they will be paid huge bonus and will receive the backing of the AUSTRALIAN team and board.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)